The Body Language Guide To Flirting - Reading between the lines.


The Body Language Guide To Flirting - Reading between the lines.

By Renessa Strong:

Body Language is defined as; the process of communicating nonverbally through conscious or unconscious gestures and movements.

By understanding body language and the limbic system ( the part of the brain responsible for this language) We can tell if He or She is saying to stay and share more I am enjoying our time, or cut and run. These limbic system signals are particularly important for romance, because that part of our brain is also responsible for our feelings of love.

Below is sample of what I teach my coaching clients to give them a upper hand in the dating world. Use them tonight or at your next outing. Experiment, Notice other people and have fun! These signals are universal for dating, business, and friendships. When in the scope of dating and you are in the first stages of meeting talking and getting to know each other look for signs in combination. Picking up on this quickly tells you...you are on the right track or you need change lanes immediately.

Overall remember dating and attraction is about confidence and how you show it. Head up, shoulders back, smile, make eye contact, look good and be engaging.

Positive Signs -

  1. Decreasing the space between you two this can be either with hands coming into your space or moving closer in general.
  2. Feet pointing towards you and wiggling happily.  
  3. Men and ladies can communicate with their chest. - A man will stand taller, expand his chest and look more powerful and dominant. While a women may shift her hips to accent her curves.
  4. Arms open, palms up and hands out of pocket - For men placing arms around back of chair or placing hands on the wall or other object shows masculinity.  For women playfully touching jewelry or hair can share interest
  5. Smiling- with teeth
  6. Extended eye contact, men often miss a woman's first eye-gazing courtship signal. On average women need to eye-gaze three times before a man takes notice.
  7. Breaking the touch barrier- try it and see how the person responds if they move closer it worked if their shoulders go in or they step away best not to do that again…

Negative Signs -

  1. Your partner might move away from you to create space between you two, leaning away from you
  2. Feet pointed away from you, legs crossed and stiff,
  3. arms crossed, palms down, closed hands, men will tend when sitting to put hands on their knees in preparation for standing up,
  4. itching eyes, scratching nose, or rubbing back of neck are other signs of boredom - time to  
  5. Folding in shoulders and looking away.

If you have concerns about what signals you are putting out there and want to get better at insuring you are sending the right message, use your phone to record yourself doing ordinary activities, or have a friend record you. You’ll be able to diagnose body language cues that convey too much, too little, or the wrong message.

Of course non of this translates into texting or emailing. Picking up on flirting can be a big challenge… Ever get one of those what does that even mean? Is He/She Flirting with me?  The only way around this is to get offline and meet in person or at the very least get on the phone. A person's voice affliction shares a ton of information... just in the pitch and speed of their voice.  As I shared in my article the ultimate online dating guide, do this with in at least 8-10 messages. Otherwise your head could be spinning trying to figure out what your match is meaning.